Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Online Dating

I have been online dating now for a few years. A lot of people may say it is a weird way to meet someone, but why? I don't think its any different then being approached by a guy while at Subway ordering a sandwich. Personally I feel if you're a person with a good judge of character you will be able to wing out the bad and date the greats. I've learned to make men feel comfortable and open. Its my only way of really knowing what kind of guy he is. I have a few tips on the matter.

Tip #1
Make sure your profile doesn't give too much of what you are looking for. Give a brief description of yourself and write something that will keep a guy in awe. If you give them to much they will pretend to be everything you are looking for just to get you to chat with them. Especially if you are gorgeous. They usually look at your picture first and then read the profile. I think about 95% of them only read the profile to write something clever and to show you, 1. they've read your profile and 2. "Hey look at me, I can read. Please respond".

Tip #2
Make sure your profile picture shows little skin. Some skin is good but not too much.
If you are serious about finding someone with substance you don't want to give off the impression of being a woman that is easy. There are tons of women on sites that look for one nighters and you can be mistaken for one of those. If you are looking for a "Hook up" then by all means show as much as you'd like.

Tip #3
Always meet first before you decide on your wedding dress. So many women fall in love with guys just by emailing and talking on the phone. Girls, if he is too busy to meet then he is either married, in a relationship, crazy, feeding you a dream, or not the guy he put on his profile picture. Yes girls, guys do it too. I can't tell you how many guys I have met who were not the pictures they showed. They were either 10 to 20 years older, 80 to 100 pounds heavier, or it just wasn't them at all...LOL!

Tip #4
If you are not interested then don't lead them to believe you are. Be honest but firm.
I had this one guy tell me he was looking for something long term and when I told him I wasn't having sex until there was substance he then changed his attitude. You can really bring out the worse and the best in someone if you are yourself.

Be careful. Not everyone can deal with crazy's like I can. It is really important you never ever meet someone for the first three dates alone (Meaning at his place or a place YOU are not familiar with). It takes about three dates and a life time to really see the man for who he is. Lucky me it only takes one. I tend to bring out every ones naughtiness no matter who it is.

Tip #6
If you are not looking for sex DO NOT BRING IT UP IN CONVERSATION. If a guy tries to bring it up change the subject. You don't want to come off like thats what you are looking for. If you start talking about sex they think you are ready for it. Pick the right time to let him know you're not a total prude. I don't even have to talk about sex for them to try to be my desert.

Tip #7
Follow your intuition. If you feel like this guy is not good or there is something about him, run. Avoid all emails, phone calls and any place you met up with him. The feeling of him not being good for you is usually 1000% accurate. I try to meet guys places I usually never go. If I like a particular Starbucks I don't choose that one. I choose one close to him. And ladies, you don't have to change your cell number. Do not delete theres. If you don't want to know or see their names any longer change their names in your phone to "DO NOT ANSWER." This lets you know that you better not answer it or it will be someone you don't want to talk to. If you delete their numbers they could wait a month and try to call you again, just to see how you are doing. And by then you don't recognize the number and may think its someone from the job, your kids school, or another friend calling from someone elses phone. Leave it in the phone and change the name to "DO NOT ANSWER" and you won't ever have to worry about that. Oh and if they try to call with another number just hang up on them. They usually get the hint. Yes this even works for family and friends you don't want to talk to. One of the DO NOT ANSWERS in my phone is my mum...j/k

Tip #8
Never give out too much of your information. You don't really know these people so you don't have to tell them your street address, your job location, where you work, what kind of car you drive, the city your mum lives in, your mothers maiden name, or your SSN. Its ok to just talk about your interest. If this person becomes someone you don't want to know and he gets angry with you, he can be a crazy and find out where you work and start harassing you there. Lets keep the personal information to a minimum.

Tip #9
Be honest. I say this because you can lie about something to someone and he could be the one who opens your heart. So if you have 5 children and you told him you have three because those are the three that live with you, that's still considered as a lie. Be up front and honest. By the time you meet and he further gets to know you, if he truly likes you, he will accept you and everything you have to offer. If not, screw him, there are way too many men out there that would. But it is important to make sure you give them a choice to accept it or not.

Tip #10
The free sites are not different than sites you pay for. The same guys are on both. I think I had more ass holes on the paid sites than I did on the free ones. I think some guys know that if women are paying to be on a site they are more willing to believe that they are serious and not on the sites to just get laid. I'm not speaking for all men, just most.

Have fun ladies but be careful. I hope my tips can help open your eyes and give you a bit of incite on the online dating scene.
Ciao for now