Yes, he is black and you can have him!!!!

Alright, so my " friend", told me just today, how when she comes to work, all the non black women want this one black guy at work. Well, my " friend" clearly does not want him. Well, this woman always looks at my "friend", when she is talking to this black guy. My freind told me how this woman looks at her all damn day along with another woman at work. Also, this black guy at works just smiles over the idea of all this occuring over his tired self. I am going to be real here, the reality is many women date black guys as a way to look down on black women. I go so many places in Los Angeles, and when a black man is with a white or Latino women they both look at me like I want to kill them. The best thing to do is to smile and keep being beautiful. I am insulted that anyone would think I was desperate enough to be angry...from this point on I am the happy black women......now just leave me alone and YES, HE IS BLACK AND YOU CAN HAVE HIM!!!! I want to be happy too, so why would I after 400 years of oppression want to be a mule for man, I am not asking for much, just do not assume, I do not love myself.....well, at work, this "freind " goes through this everyday, it is a sad situation, even more so the other educated black man who is also in the young proffesional age range, does not even protect her, he is also part of this put the black smart beautiful woman down syndrome.....what I missed about the civil rights era was that more black people would support each other at work and in life...now we are all out for ourselves, and even worst, the black man is also throwing rocks on you as well.....so once again.. YES, HE IS BLACK And YOU CAN HAVE HIM unless he can treat me like a human and with respect....and most of all other cultures value their women, I know love is color blind, but as a culture, black men should not participate in the deformation of the image of black women...and we should not be harrassed all the time.......

Go Towards The White, Carol Ann

I date a lot. That's something that I didn't do ever in Kansas City. Apparently there just isn't a market for BBW's in Kansas City. However that dilemma was easily remedied with a short drive to St. Louis, Chicago or Dallas. This is how I ended up living in Dallas. Ever hear the saying "everything is bigger in TX?" Let me just say that the men show me plenty of love in TX, especially the white men. I am a firm believer in keeping a full stable of men. Each one of them brings a unique personality into my life. Some men I just date in between checks for a free meal.

Those are usually white guys. I have dated two actual cowboys and turned down dozens. I really like the Marlboro Man style but good heavens! I know that inter racial dating is still a foreign concept to African American or Latino women but it really shouldn't be. I have been on the other side of the fence when it comes to interracial dating. I will admit I was one of those sisters that sneered when I saw a brother out with a white women or a Latina. Then one dateless day I decided I was only hurting myself by refusing to expand my options. Don't get me wrong, I love brothers. I love a professional brother in a business suit with a briefcase. I love a blue collar brother with dirt under his nails and a name tag sewed on to his uniform. I love an "Imma be honest I'm the Weed Man" brother with cornrows and Nikes. I have a thing for brothers.

However, when you are making the decision to date outside your race you should consider some things, like what stereotype (hey some are based in truth) would you like to date? Will you feel comfortable if someone sneers at ya'll at the movies. Sometimes that does happen. Are you willing to be happy no matter what others think including yourself?

When you turn down a date based on some superficial quality you only hurt yourself. You could go from dateless to dating every night if you would only broaden your options. Which option will you choose?

Tomorrow's topic: Build-A-Boyfriend

Prince Charming

We can't have a blog about African American relationships without touching on interracial dating. Within our community more than any other race, interracial dating is a hot topic (we will explain the reason why when we go back through the journey) But for this posting, I want to speak to all the sisters who are considering interracial dating.



9 times out of 10, when a black woman is dating interracially, there is a set reason behind her decision. A lot of the times we don't have the luxury of saying 'it just happened, we fell in love and it has nothing to do with race' Real talk, the majority of African Americans dating interracially have made a conscious decision, and we know it. So, sister, you've decided to open your world and date outside your race. First let me start off by saying you have made a great decision, by not limiting your choices for love. The taboo relationship between the black woman and the white man has in recent years come to the forefront of our community. We see more and more happy interracial couples married, raising families, and living life to the fullest.

To start your journey through interracial dating I would suggest starting with self reflection. Coming to this decision is often out of reaching a boiling point. Settle down, dating someone new while being angry at a race of men will eventually hinder your new relationship. When you enter the interracial dating world, you still have a responsibility to represent and educate the family of your chosen lover on your race. You will be entering the acceptance ring. When you get to the point of meeting the parents, there will be some pre-conceived notions about you that you will hopefully prove wrong. I have seen black women who bash their race when they begin dating interracially, remember you're dating because of love, not hate. If you constantly see your new relationship as a color issue, that will also hinder your ability to fall completely in love. I will admit, I am more aware of being black when I'm the only one in the crowd, but I also remember we are all human, when you take away the outer layer we really are all the same. We as humans want the same thing, happiness. The human experience may vary because of race, but that is something people have MADE and issue, if we'd just accept each other as people the world would be oh so different. But I digress. You're dating interacially and there are things you will probably need to over come so that you can completely slip into your happiness.

For many years, black woman have been almost single handily been responsible for carrying on the black race. So when we decide to date interracially we tend to feel as though we are betraying our race. There is nothing wrong with wanting a dedicated mate, someone you can grow old with, and if your situation has not given you that through your own race please don't feel afraid to open your world. And by situation I mean work, where you live, your expectations for your mate, etc. Online dating sites such as Afro Romance http://www.afroromance.com/, specialize in connecting black women with interracial relationships. I personally have found men of other races have no problem approaching me, even being pretty bold. It has been my own personal decision to ignore the advances. So that's why I say, personal reflection will be needed so that you do not have any personal issues interfering your new relationships.

I'd like to hear some of your opinions on dating interracially, how has it effected you and your search for happiness.

Happy Dating!

Why do black men date white women? Blog talk radio

I found this radio show and felt I should share it.

This will be part one of the series in this big pink elephant in the room.

Why do black men date white women? This common and controversial topic will be discussed by Eathan and his guest, life coach, Cathy Hill. This will be a great discussion for everyone.

He plays a long song in the beginning, but once you get past the song its an interesting take on the topic.