Monday, April 27, 2009

Prince Charming

We can't have a blog about African American relationships without touching on interracial dating. Within our community more than any other race, interracial dating is a hot topic (we will explain the reason why when we go back through the journey) But for this posting, I want to speak to all the sisters who are considering interracial dating.

9 times out of 10, when a black woman is dating interracially, there is a set reason behind her decision. A lot of the times we don't have the luxury of saying 'it just happened, we fell in love and it has nothing to do with race' Real talk, the majority of African Americans dating interracially have made a conscious decision, and we know it. So, sister, you've decided to open your world and date outside your race. First let me start off by saying you have made a great decision, by not limiting your choices for love. The taboo relationship between the black woman and the white man has in recent years come to the forefront of our community. We see more and more happy interracial couples married, raising families, and living life to the fullest.

To start your journey through interracial dating I would suggest starting with self reflection. Coming to this decision is often out of reaching a boiling point. Settle down, dating someone new while being angry at a race of men will eventually hinder your new relationship. When you enter the interracial dating world, you still have a responsibility to represent and educate the family of your chosen lover on your race. You will be entering the acceptance ring. When you get to the point of meeting the parents, there will be some pre-conceived notions about you that you will hopefully prove wrong. I have seen black women who bash their race when they begin dating interracially, remember you're dating because of love, not hate. If you constantly see your new relationship as a color issue, that will also hinder your ability to fall completely in love. I will admit, I am more aware of being black when I'm the only one in the crowd, but I also remember we are all human, when you take away the outer layer we really are all the same. We as humans want the same thing, happiness. The human experience may vary because of race, but that is something people have MADE and issue, if we'd just accept each other as people the world would be oh so different. But I digress. You're dating interacially and there are things you will probably need to over come so that you can completely slip into your happiness.

For many years, black woman have been almost single handily been responsible for carrying on the black race. So when we decide to date interracially we tend to feel as though we are betraying our race. There is nothing wrong with wanting a dedicated mate, someone you can grow old with, and if your situation has not given you that through your own race please don't feel afraid to open your world. And by situation I mean work, where you live, your expectations for your mate, etc. Online dating sites such as Afro Romance, specialize in connecting black women with interracial relationships. I personally have found men of other races have no problem approaching me, even being pretty bold. It has been my own personal decision to ignore the advances. So that's why I say, personal reflection will be needed so that you do not have any personal issues interfering your new relationships.

I'd like to hear some of your opinions on dating interracially, how has it effected you and your search for happiness.

Happy Dating!