Saturday, April 18, 2009

My Young Black Brothers

I am 31 and recently dating again. After my divorce I was hesitant on meeting and going out with anyone in fear I was going to attract the same man again. I wasn’t secure in myself and I thought my judgment in men had been altered by my divorce experience.
The first man I spoke with was a gorgeous black sensual man who stood 6’7. My G-d he had me calling him daddy with just his presence. Let me tell you ladies, he knew exactly what to say and how to say it. He was the perfect gentlemen. Every time he kissed me he made my legs quiver and my heart felt the tingles. Remember the tingles? He made me feel like he could tell me anything and I would drop to my knees and say, “Okay, whatever you say, Daddy.” We kept our relationship going for about 9 months. In those 9 months we saw each other about 5 times because he was a Navy Chief and was stationed on a ship. We eventually met up again for the 6th time and after 90 emails, in San Diego CA. My divorce had become final and that’s when I found out the truth. He said, “You are an amazing woman in which is why I have to tell you the truth. I am not ready for what you are willing to give me. The love you exude should be given to someone who has the ability to take it. Right now I’m not that man. I’m still married to my wife. And I told you I have two children but in actuality, I have three.” Imagine my surprise. It took me about 2 months to get over this and out on the dating scene again.
This time I decided to go a new route. I put up a profile on a dating site. It was cool. I got about 100 emails a day from various guys but one in particular caught my eye, another gorgeous black man, who this time only stood at 6’4. Once again I screamed out, “DAMN DADDY.” And I proceeded to send him a message. I said something like, “Wouldn’t it be nice to take a walk in the rain?” I saw his profile said he was an artist and I just wrote something that I like to do as I am an artist as well. He emailed me back right away and said, “Yes.” From that point on we were inseparable. He was an amazing artist, amazing looking, and he made me happy. Two months with this guy felt like two years. We went through almost all the stages of a long term relationship in the matter of weeks. But it was good. I, being as old as I am, didn’t let my feelings get involved to the point where if it didn’t happen I would be damaged. I’m at that point in my life where I understand that people are on their own paths and if your paths cross you have to see if both your paths are leading in the same direction or if they are just crossing. We were at that point. We both wanted to take it further. He already met my parents but now it was time for me to meet “THE MOTHER.” If you aren’t a Native Black American person reading this, and have never dated a Native Black American Man, then you won’t know what I mean when I say meet “THE MOTHER.” Meeting a black mans mother is a very delicate situation because these woman adore their young successful black men and will sniff out a gold digger, manipulator, and or a psycho chick from a distance. I of course had nothing to worry about in those areas so I felt really confident. The day came for me to meet his family. I was nervous but I got out the car. I stood there for a minute but I eventually went up the stairs after 20 minutes of him coaching me telling me everything was going to be ok. As we were walking up the stairs to his mothers place he said, “Oh my sister is here.” At this time I felt like I was going to faint. Now I had two black women who were potentially going to attack and drill me on my life and intentions. GREAT! As we walked to the door he pulled out his key. HE PULLED OUT HIS KEY! He still has a key to his mother’s house. I thought this in my head as I was imagining him going to her house making sure she had groceries and leaving her nice little notes say, “I love you mommy.”, on them. As we walked in I held my head up high only to bump into his brother. I stood there in shock and he said, “Oh, I didn’t know you guys would be here too. Hey babe, this is my brother, his wife and three kids.” To my surprise it was the guy who wooed me for 9 months only to tell me he was still married. I collected myself as he looked at me and took his pointed finger and put it to his mouth to shish me. I went on to introduce myself to his wife, who looked very similar to me. She seemed to be very nice and even said I was as beautiful as my boy described me. At this time I was going in circles. I felt sick and excused myself to the restroom. My boy walked to show me where it was and I grabbed his arm and told him we had to leave. He said, “Why.” I said, “Remember the guy I told you about who broke my heart when he told me he was married. Well, it’s your brother.” He looked at me, took my hand and we walked out. We got in my car and I started to cry and then laugh because I couldn’t believe my luck. I had just possibly met the man I would spend the rest of my life with and I shagged his brother. I mean really shagged.
After all was said and all was done we decided it wasn’t going to work. His mother always told them never to let a woman come between them and because they both loved me we all decided to go our separate ways.

The moral to this story is. Know everything about the person before you shag them. And make sure if you shag brothers, it’s at the same time.