Wednesday, April 29, 2009

These Celibacy Blues

   /ˈsɛləbəsi/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [sel-uh-buh-see] Show IPA
1. abstention from sexual relations.
2. abstention by vow from marriage: the celibacy of priests.
3. the state of being unmarried

To all my sisters out there who are going for the long haul, I'm talking about celibacy, this ones for you.

According to websters all us unmarried folks are celibant, according to modern days and time celibacy means we ain't gettin' any!

I chose to be celibant for several long years, and during this time, I went through a very evident transition. I had many moments of self reflection and my celibacy, I firmly believe, has led me to my current dating situation. I gained power. It allowed me to think. Think about the entire act of love, not just sex, but the entire act of actually loving someone. Often we as women can get love and sex confused, and that's where things fall apart. Living in Hollywood I see women every day that are so easy to bed, why would any man ever settle down and love any of them? During my celibacy I remember my mother's harping words, 'if he loves you he will wait' and you know what, it's true. Men have the ability to completely separate themselves from sex and love, some women have this ability too but many don't (hence movies like fatal attraction and obsessed are born, art imitates life)

I discovered love has different layers, and sometimes the lines can be blurred. Sex is only 1 part of love, and I've discovered through my celibacy it is a part of love that is so easy to take and manipulate, after a while it won't mean anything. Anyone can have sex, but there are people out there who literally cannot fall in love. Celibacy can help you separate the layers of love and lead you to a more fulfilling relationship. Also we as women don't realize what we have, we have what men want! They need us ladies, literally they need us. If we realize this, we won't allowed ourselves to be played over and over again.

How to get over the Celibacy Blues

Celibacy is a personal journey, that many religions believe will reveal a new part of our spiritual selves. If you are taking this journey, meditate, pray, and think about the past experiences that have led you to this point. And use this moment in your life to regain your sexual power. Practicing Yoga is a great way to get in touch with a new layer of your own personal being. Make a goal for yourself in your dating life, to raise the bar both for yourself and for the man you date. Think about your future and where you want to be and what you need to do to get yourself there. Without sex to muddle your mind, you now have time to really think and improve your life. And when your celibacy ends, that man better watch out! lol.