Sunday, April 19, 2009

myspace and facebook can kill the love

Knowledge is key

We all know how big social networking can be for our daily lives. I personally am on everything I can think of; Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, I even still have my Black Planet Page (ya'll remember that one?) I recently realized how it can also be a killer to a relationship. There are millions of stories about the Myspace breakup, or the Facebook stalker. I've had friends and acquaintances tell me wild stories of wonderful men leading a double life virtually.

How much should social networking affect our relationships? In alot of cases they have both started and ended something wonderful. From my new experience, it can definitely be a killer. Imagine walking into your loves home, and seeing smiling photos of him and his ex posted on the walls, sitting on the coffee table, hanging from his keychain, lol. How would this make you feel? Men (some, ok 95%) have not figured out what social networking sites are for. I'm talking to the fellas now, MEN HEY LISTEN UP, they are a presentation of your life. They are you saying to millions of people "This is who I am" And it seems you haven’t figured out that your girlfriend will be watching this activity, it's our newly gifted nature (thanks Tom from myspace). Social networking's effects on a relationship can make a person feel slighted, jilted, bamboozled, and stupid because it seems so petty, but again it is a presentation to the world. So I for one am not afraid to look at someone's presentation and make a decision. We do it everyday, rather we are hiring someone or being hired, searching for a new doctor, or someone to take care of our car, we now look to the web to tell us rather or not we should go in a certain direction.

My recent experience has bought me to a place where I'm in two different relationships, the one in person and the one online. Not sure what to do but wanting the best, I confronted the situation and stated my feelings... it hasn't worked yet. I now realize the many dimensions to a relationship, and how careful one needs to be to make another person happy, but if you truly love that person minor adjustments (like the removal of couple’s photos from a public site) shouldn't be too hard to compromise about. This is just one SBF's opinion, but social networking pages are basically an open book, it’s the easiest way to see into someone’s life, and it’s the most power we have as individuals over how people perceive us. So ladies, if you're logging in, don't feel silly for taking his presentation seriously, because this is his own virtual way of telling you how much he cares.