Confession#11 When I'm single, I want my friends to be single.
Why? Because misery loves company. If you've done this (and most of you have) your girl complains about the man, and instead of encouraging the relationship, you point out the many faults, than congratulations you're a woman. It's not a terrible thing, it is to the person you're giving wayward advice to, but it's just simply human nature. If this person is truly your friend, take a deep breath and hope to keep them on a path to being truly happy with the one they love (if its a healthy relationship, and you know the difference). Even if it means being a bridesmaid for the fifth time. Don't worry your day will come.
Showing posts with label Confessions of a Manaholic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Confessions of a Manaholic. Show all posts
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Confessions of a Manaholic
Confession#10 My biggest fear since childhood has been growing up to be like my mother.
Why? Because she's never had a man truly love her. Yea, she went around the block, enough times to have seven kids. Had the ring. Changed her last name. Tried to be June Cleaver, wanted to be June Cleaver. But she was never allowed. It seems it was her lot in life. Every relationship, every marriage, failed. She's getting older now, flaunting an AARP card, and called me on the phone and said to me "I like white men now, I'm thinking about dating one" It made me want to cry.
Why? Because she's never had a man truly love her. Yea, she went around the block, enough times to have seven kids. Had the ring. Changed her last name. Tried to be June Cleaver, wanted to be June Cleaver. But she was never allowed. It seems it was her lot in life. Every relationship, every marriage, failed. She's getting older now, flaunting an AARP card, and called me on the phone and said to me "I like white men now, I'm thinking about dating one" It made me want to cry.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Confessions of a Manaholic
Confession#9 I've been the other woman
Why? Because I had no idea if I don't ask a new guy I potentially want to date these specific questions "do you have a girlfriend?" "are you married?" "are you gay?" anything that results after we begin dating is officially my fault for not asking. I've had to ask myself for forgiveness for not realizing some people really are just up to no good.
Why? Because I had no idea if I don't ask a new guy I potentially want to date these specific questions "do you have a girlfriend?" "are you married?" "are you gay?" anything that results after we begin dating is officially my fault for not asking. I've had to ask myself for forgiveness for not realizing some people really are just up to no good.
Confessions of a Manaholic
Confession#8 I wear a wedding ring to turn men off.
Why? Because sometimes when a woman goes out she really does just want to hang with the girls and chill. Believe it or not, I don't dress nice and put on makeup just to attract a man, I like dressing up and going out. So to avoid the harassment, I put on a wedding ring, bad part is, sometimes this doesn't stop them and actually makes them think they can go straight for sex instead of asking me out to dinner, which is scary.
Why? Because sometimes when a woman goes out she really does just want to hang with the girls and chill. Believe it or not, I don't dress nice and put on makeup just to attract a man, I like dressing up and going out. So to avoid the harassment, I put on a wedding ring, bad part is, sometimes this doesn't stop them and actually makes them think they can go straight for sex instead of asking me out to dinner, which is scary.
Confessions of a Manaholic
Confession#7 I've given out the wrong number 90% of the time.
Why? Because I discovered some years ago when men go out even when they have been 10 years beyond high school, they still treat women like a numbers game. They want to see how many phone numbers they can collect. It's so juvenile and petty, that I've felt no need to give my number to the brother humping me on the dance floor. I can tell when I've really vibed with someone and we will hit it off beyond the club or bar, that's when I get THEIR number. When I say no to the humping brothers, they ask over and over, I even had one say "just give me an email address, something!" I realize a number is like a trophy for the night. So thanks to the rejection hotline, and my ability to make up a believable number on the spot, most men get the wrong digits, they get their ego stroked, but since they weren't planning on calling anyway, I get a drink and I get to dance for the night, no harm done.
Why? Because I discovered some years ago when men go out even when they have been 10 years beyond high school, they still treat women like a numbers game. They want to see how many phone numbers they can collect. It's so juvenile and petty, that I've felt no need to give my number to the brother humping me on the dance floor. I can tell when I've really vibed with someone and we will hit it off beyond the club or bar, that's when I get THEIR number. When I say no to the humping brothers, they ask over and over, I even had one say "just give me an email address, something!" I realize a number is like a trophy for the night. So thanks to the rejection hotline, and my ability to make up a believable number on the spot, most men get the wrong digits, they get their ego stroked, but since they weren't planning on calling anyway, I get a drink and I get to dance for the night, no harm done.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Confessions of a Manaholic
Confession#6 I've gone on dates just to eat.
Why? I know, I know, its a terrible thing to do, but I was in college and money was tight. At the time I didn't take dating seriously at all. I really wanted to eat out instead of having ramen noodles for the third night in a row. But it of course it used to always boomerang, because when they tried to make their moves, I had to figure a way out. Hmmm, that is probably why I always drove my own car for an even easier way out.
Why? I know, I know, its a terrible thing to do, but I was in college and money was tight. At the time I didn't take dating seriously at all. I really wanted to eat out instead of having ramen noodles for the third night in a row. But it of course it used to always boomerang, because when they tried to make their moves, I had to figure a way out. Hmmm, that is probably why I always drove my own car for an even easier way out.
Confessions of a Manaholic
Confession#5 I faked it for years.
Why? Because the men I dated really thought they were special in that department, and I didn't want to disappoint them. But faking it never got us far. Physical attraction and satisfaction is key to a good relationship, and after personally reflecting on this, and deciding what I want in a man and going after it, I have that good physical attraction now so I'm so happy.
Why? Because the men I dated really thought they were special in that department, and I didn't want to disappoint them. But faking it never got us far. Physical attraction and satisfaction is key to a good relationship, and after personally reflecting on this, and deciding what I want in a man and going after it, I have that good physical attraction now so I'm so happy.
Confessions of a Manaholic
Confession#4 Sometimes I'd rather have a dog than a man.
Why? Men are dogs you say. No, I don't use that good ol' phrase to describe men, mainly because I don't want to be referred to as a bitch, so I try to give what I want to receive. Sometimes having a relationship can be so much work and so mentally draining, I think, a miniature Schnauzer wouldn't do this to me, maybe I'll get one of those instead, I can train it to fetch my slippers.
Why? Men are dogs you say. No, I don't use that good ol' phrase to describe men, mainly because I don't want to be referred to as a bitch, so I try to give what I want to receive. Sometimes having a relationship can be so much work and so mentally draining, I think, a miniature Schnauzer wouldn't do this to me, maybe I'll get one of those instead, I can train it to fetch my slippers.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Confessions of a Manaholic
Confession#3 I've thought about shopping during sex.
Why? Because I was bored! The bad part is, we had a bad break up and I could've easily pulled the 'you ain't ish in bed' card, the coveted card many women hold, but I didn't. I have a few of those cards in my pocket, believe you me.
Why? Because I was bored! The bad part is, we had a bad break up and I could've easily pulled the 'you ain't ish in bed' card, the coveted card many women hold, but I didn't. I have a few of those cards in my pocket, believe you me.
Confessions of a Manaholic
Confession #2 I think I'd be happy in an open relationship.
Why? Because it seems so easy, if you don't want to be bothered, he has someone else and vice versa, I have someone else. And yes, sometimes we don't want to be bothered but we want to stay with that person. Everyone has their days. I watch the show Big Love, I know there will be drama. Or I see the people in the middle states sharing a home and the women look so at peace. I know it sounds strange but, true. Looking at the infidelities in so many relationships, wouldn't it just be easier to have it open. I mean, why be married to a man that has two secret girlfriends, find out about it, go through all this drama, and eventually divorce. Is monogamy dead?
Why? Because it seems so easy, if you don't want to be bothered, he has someone else and vice versa, I have someone else. And yes, sometimes we don't want to be bothered but we want to stay with that person. Everyone has their days. I watch the show Big Love, I know there will be drama. Or I see the people in the middle states sharing a home and the women look so at peace. I know it sounds strange but, true. Looking at the infidelities in so many relationships, wouldn't it just be easier to have it open. I mean, why be married to a man that has two secret girlfriends, find out about it, go through all this drama, and eventually divorce. Is monogamy dead?
Confessions of a Manaholic
Confession #1, I've stayed away from a serious relationship because I know I'm capable of cheating.
Why do I feel I'm capable of cheating? Probably because I haven't had many positive experiences with the men in my life. From a little girl, seeing the wrong doings towards my mother, aunts, grandmother, sisters, and now me. I guess it would be a defense mechanism. I've heard many women say all men cheat... so I guess I figure why wouldn't I? I would never do it first, it would purely be retaliation, but two wrongs don't make a right, and I believe in prevention, so I've just never gotten to the point to see exactly how this currently imaginary scenario would play out.
Why do I feel I'm capable of cheating? Probably because I haven't had many positive experiences with the men in my life. From a little girl, seeing the wrong doings towards my mother, aunts, grandmother, sisters, and now me. I guess it would be a defense mechanism. I've heard many women say all men cheat... so I guess I figure why wouldn't I? I would never do it first, it would purely be retaliation, but two wrongs don't make a right, and I believe in prevention, so I've just never gotten to the point to see exactly how this currently imaginary scenario would play out.
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