Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Essence of Beauty

Looking at the history of the standards of beauty in this country and the fantastic trend towards changing that standard, is a white fashion editor at a black magazine another sign of change? As with most things that deal with racial discrimination from the African American community, you must look at the whole picture (just ask Shirley Sherrod) Magazines such as Essence came about not because black women felt the need to racially exclude other standards of beauty, but because other magazines did so to African American women... and thus Essence is born, for us by us. If you're a black woman and you've ever sat down in the chair at the salon for a beautician of another race, for the most part of your beauty visit you will hear about how they've only started doing black hair, how different it is, or how proud they are that they've been able to wrap their curling irons around it. Same with makeup artist, most makeup and hair stylist of other races have never done the hair or makeup of a black female! Or they don't know how (i personally believe thats a choice of theirs not to learn, because it's not that difficult) but I digress.... so knowing that we have specific products, and can't just walk down the street and into a salon to get our hair done, or even find makeup thats our shade in certain stores (i had to drive miles to find my shade in virginia) is it okay for a woman who does not have our experience to determine what goes in the magazine? Perhaps this woman knows her stuff, realizes that we have different trends within our community and different stories that we like to see. I hope the best for her at her time at Essence, and hopefully this will be an opening for people in the fashion, hair and makeup community of other races to learn about the beauty of black skin and hair, and black beauty in general.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Dating With Children

I have a friend that's decided to consider dating a man with children. This got me thinking about the dynamics and differences between men and women and how we get to certain points in our lives. This friend swore by not dating men with children, so what made her change her mind? Women in general are usually more open to going into a dating situation with a man thats already a father. In the black community, if a male is a loving father then it shows us that theres the possibility of having a loving father for our children in the future (if we're thinking about that) Dating a man thats a loving father is a plus, and even a turn on for women. Men, after asking several seem to simply accept the fact that the woman he wants to be with has a child, he might learn to grow and care for the child, but he isn't looking at her as a loving mother that might mother his future children. I think if more women in our community only accepted dating fathers that were loving, caring, and there for there children, it might prevent the dooming "serial father" You know the men that have children by more than one (sometimes as many as 5 or more) women. Basically if you've never seen a serial father turn on Maury.

Being open to having a family thats already started might put you, ladies, into a different dating pool that you might find pleasing. Of course be aware as to why his previous relationship ended, I can't stress enough how important it is to have mothers and fathers TRY to work things out for the sake of family. But, if you can accept the reason he's not with the mother of his child, and he's showing he can be a good man by caring for his child or children, then why not date him?

Single and ready to..... commit

What do you do when you've come to the point in your life where you're ready to take the next step but theres noone to take it with? Finding that special someone is truly an adventure, and I am finding more and more women who believe in their heart of hearts that there really isn't a "soul mate" out there for them. So going into this experience called dating I must begin to look within myself and ask, what is the point? When I meet a man should I be going straight for the throat and considering love and marriage and house and carriage, or should I put away the hunting gear and play it cool having the attitude of "what will be will be"

Growing up I was taught that if you want something you need to go after it. I ask you, do you think that also applies to love? So what if "what will be will be" never happens? What if my laid back attitude puts me off from falling in love because theres no effort on my part.

As a child many women dream of having their prince charming come in and sweep them off their feet, statistically for over 40% of black women this will never happen. And so I enter this dating experience confused, but open to saying "what I WANT to be will be"

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Adventures Summer Dating

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, it's been a while since I last blogged. It's summertime and living single in Hollywood has it's ups and downs. Me and my single friends are enjoying the adventures in dating. As we navigate more blog entries will be coming so stay tuned!