Thursday, January 28, 2010

Black Man Going Vogue and Dressing Up in Drag

I have noticed that every famous black man will always accused of being homosexual when he exhibits qualities different from the gangster killer model.Also, I noticed from conversations with friends, every famous black man in the entertainment field had to dress up in drag? Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence, Christ Tucker, the list goes on, and this list is quite scary.Seriously, name a famous comedian today that did not dress up in drag? To us this may seem okay, but to the many young black boys out there, maybe this message can be confusing to a young boy who is heterosexual but he is constantly seeing a bunch of famous black men who look like him dress in drag. Lastly, every male R& B artist gets the gay rumors as if a black straight man can't be sensitive? What!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

1 trillion buying power in America......

In America we have 1 trillion in buying that flows through our hands....the question is where is our money going and are these places investing in our communities or investing in us as individuals?

Some positive news about marriage

Some positive news,

Thursday, January 21, 2010

John Edwards finally admits to being the baby daddy

RALEIGH, N.C. – Former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards finally admitted Thursday he fathered a child during an affair before his second White House bid, dropping long-standing denials just ahead of a book by a former campaign aide who initially took the fall.

Edwards released a statement admitting paternity of the girl, Frances Quinn Hunter, who was born in 2008 to videographer Rielle Hunter as the result of an affair Edwards has already confessed to.

"It was wrong for me to ever deny she was my daughter," he said, adding he was providing financial support for the child and mother. "I am Quinn's father."

The admission comes ahead of the Feb. 2 release of a book by former Edwards aide Andrew Young that is expected to describe how Edwards worked to hide his paternity with Young's help.

read full article

The poor child is going to know she was denied. And his wife gets kudos for putting up with his crap. All in all this man wins, he got his cake on the side, made a beautiful baby and still gets to keep his family. Is that right?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Don't get me wrong...

This is dedicated to the interracial couples that think my every waking moment is spent sabotaging their relationship with my eyes. I am a bright professional woman that has had both street and traditional education. I know why most of our men do what they do. I know why most of our women do what they do. I've studied human nature (yes it is possible to understand other people, and there are scientist who dedicate their whole lives to studying human behavior) I've studied the effects of events in this country, and I've lived it. There are thousands of youtube videos and websites, mostly by black men, who are willing to bash black women because THEY themselves are in interracial relationships. So this post is dedicated to you, and you're lovely lady.

Date... whomever you want. Love whomever you want, but please please please don't forget where you come from, or hide why you're doing it. I've rarely met a black man in an interracial relationship that says he simply "fell in love, skin didn't matter" His dating outside his race is usually a conscious decision, and deals with dislikes towards black women. Be real, if you don't like "a black woman's attitude, how black women expect too much out of a man, or how black women gold dig" then when asked why you date outside your race, be real about it. Say it. To us, to others, to the cameras. Don't worry about hurting our feelings, because we already know why. Be real. And ladies, when you're man is alone with us, he will say how he truly feels, although he might tell you race doesn't matter, he just saw you and was smitten, theres usually something deeper behind it. I've never heard a black man says he prefers white women because he feels it in his heart. Thats simply not realistic first of all, all people have a certain type of person they are attracted to, and that's fine. Rather its the white guy that prefers Asian women, or the black woman that prefers Indian men. You are attracted to who you are attracted to. Yet when a black male is asked about his preference, he usually has something negative or hurtful to say about the women of his own race or other races. I was watching a video by a black man where he described white women as superior because of their manageable hair.... wow you get an A+ guy, I feel sorry for what ever blond sister gets stuck with you!

I'm not looking at you... for some reason whenever I'm out and about, maybe at a club, or restaurant, I'll suddenly feel eyes on the back of my head. I'll look over and see a brother, or his date staring at me. And I wonder "why?" It seems to me interracial couples WANT the evil stares. First, I don't have time to think about you, second if you're staring at me, then I'm going to look back and wonder why, which seems to be a trap. "Whenever we go out as a couple we get stares from black women." Who? really who is sitting staring at you as a couple? If you follow these people with a camera I'd bet you wouldn't see one black woman turn her head, we've seen it already. We're over it.

Don't bash us for dating outside our race... It seems black men are getting waaaay too angry at black women who date and marry white or latino men. Within a group just hanging out I've heard it enough times to see its an issue with them. They don't want us to date outside our race! The solution to that is put a ring on it and be a supportive, patient man who is willing to fight for his relationship, and work (in life and with understanding a woman)

Don't stereotype me to justify you're dating choices... I get the worst generalizations from black men. Perhaps I'm at a bar, and I'm being approached, unbeknownst to the gentleman approaching I didn't pay attention to him approach, or perhaps I'm waiting for my boyfriend and don't want to be asked for my number even though I tell you I'm in a committed relationship, or showed a penis via cell phone. (all of this has happened, no lie)Perhaps I'm not interested in you, which is fine, every woman isn't going to want you. But please don't chop it up to me being a black woman. I've actually had a man say this to my face, here's the situation. I'm at a club, this time waiting for my girls. I just ordered a drink and I'm waiting. Not doing anything, simply waiting. I'm approached by an older gentleman who kindly says "Smile, why do black women always look so mean." Excuse me? What does that even mean? Are black women that watched to where I can't even simply sit and wait, not smiling, not grimacing, not killing anyone with my eyes, simply sitting, and that has to do with my race? Or I'll turn down an advance, and I'm overly nice about it, I've actually been followed out to my car because I'm too nice, which is dangerous, and when I say no, I don't want to date you or give you my number, it will be chopped up to me being black. Sorry, I don't flip over every crotch that comes my way, and that's okay, maybe you're not my type, maybe I'm already dating, maybe I'm married. Show respect and don't insult my race because I don't want to date you.

To the ladies of other races... talk to us, most of us don't bite. We aren't irrational animals that pounce on you because you "steal our men" We know what you're more than likely going through, and we don't pity you. No matter what race of men you're dating, relationships have their problems. We know it's not all roses because you have your Nubian prince, or maybe it is and that's fine too. All we want to do is be recognized as the intelligent beautiful women that we are, and you're hating on us by thinking we think you "stole our men" really divides us as a gender. From the senator who gets his mistress pregnant, to the jailbird in the ghetto, men and women have their issues. I have my own life, my own issues, my own problems and solutions, I truly don't care who you date. More often than not, you start the conversation, asking me a silly question like "do you hate it when black men date white women?" this was an actual question from a total stranger. I'm going to give you my accurate opinion, and the history behind it, if you ask, you'll get an answer. And it will never be "I prefer black men date white women! I hook up all my black guy friends with white girls! Yayyyyyy!" Theres a reason behind why I feel the way I feel, and theres a reason behind the stigma of interracial dating, listen to it and empathize instead of saying "that's all in the past" because we all know the past shapes the future. Women need to have the girl power of the Rosie the Riveter days, this race thing is simply a distraction.

I went to see the Body Exhibit, and if you haven't seen it I recommend it. It taught me a valuable lesson seeing the different bodies, how they move, how the muscles and bones look and work together. And I realized... we all really do look the same on the inside. The emphasise on race was created in this country by the slave masters and the killers and murderers... so why are you still falling into their ignorant trap? I don't care who you date, get over it, and stop dating and marrying women out of racial spite! Don't get me wrong, you don't know how I feel about anything until you ask me.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Support our brothers and sisters in HAITI by Wycleaf Jean provides a way for us to Donate. During this hard time for the first black democracy in the world, let us remember the need for us to unite. There is so many ways to divide people of color, but places like Haiti, and even places in America like Watts, reminds us how we must still stand together as a people. Sadly, racism is still alive in the hearts of many people in this world. However, we are also making progress in the year 2010, but we must not lose sight of how important unity is.....if we can become rich and support GUCCI and FENDI, we can also support black countries too. We as African Americans should find ways to stimulate black own buisness's and countries with our dollars we get in America. The tragedy in Haiti is a big wake up call for me. People of African descent worldwide must stand in unity ecnomoically instead of making these multi billion dollar companies rich. Let us find ways to buy from struggling indepdendent black own business's and let's keep investing in making the lives of black people better in America and outside America. Yes, we are one person, but if we remember that UNITY is the key to overcoming racism and sexism we can make some real positive change. Yes, we are more than a color, but we have to unite in order to protect our quality of life....we have to support our communities economically....

Pray for the people in Haiti and let's start supporting the development of black communities when possible. Maybe we can try to buy at least two things from a black owned business this year ...... is a foundation we can send money to.

"That is all we is"

*sigh.......I wonder what Dr. King would think of the statements made by Cornel West , Tavis Smiley and Micheal Dyson.....we can agree that we need effective policies and we as citizens have the right/freedom to advocate for them but to insult a leader for not being black seems like crabs in a barrel syndrome..... with many young black boys in tough communities seeing crime as the only way out, should top " African American Leaders/Scholars be petty and knock the President for not being black instead of having engaging discussions about solutions for everyday Americans? We have to be critical of all leaders, this is a democracy but I am surprised by the words of such a top historian him of all people should know the position of the President. We can change race relations and gender inequality by making these issues important to those who intentionally or unintentionally support the beliefs and actions of inequality. But at the end of the day I guess we all have to be that " ol' colored girl and ol' colored boy " to the few and those with are same color, "that is all we is....."

On another note, are some black male leaders having a little Penis Envy? As women of color we have also been shut out of many discussions regarding our communities....many of us have been victims of our own black men, so when will one of these top African American leaders address these issues instead of going in on the President not being black enough. All things aside, we should always question leaders....but are some people using the black community for their own personal gain?

Are Black Women not suppose to date?

I am always curious about the black images of women. I sometimes see open racism and sexism geared towards many black media figures whether it is Michelle Obama or Rhianna. I noticed on other blog sites the comments that Rhianna is a whore or slut. Now, we are the public we never know what is happening behind closed doors. However, unlike other celebs that never truly date or go out with handsome men, I think Rhianna is getting a slap in the face for being a black woman taking control of her dating life. I had a conversation with a good friend who suggested I do the same thing. We talked about expanding our horizons as black women when it comes to interracial dating and online dating. So as I read some of these mainstream gossip blogs and other sites, I realized how black women are slapped for getting outside the box of being alone and helpless. I have seen many beautiful and talented white female stars have a fine ass boyfriend and switch him when needed. As women are we sluts for playing the field. Now of course there is a limit to what I mean by playing the field. But it is a sad situation to just wait for prince charming. We are just being picked rather than becoming active agents who will FIND what is TRULY good for them overall. Think about it, a man looks at you and says I like her, she fits my standards. We then say awwww I love him because he loves me. Well, what about going after what we want too. We do want a man that will chase us as well, but we also want to be active participators . Anyhow, after rethinking the Rhianna and Chris Brown incident, there is nothing she could have said that warranted getting your face mashed up! I am glad she moved on and found a fine man, hopefully they enjoy each other. As for us, I think we need to always remember that some bad social norms are perpetuating us to be alone, to be passive and to be retainers of bullshit. Black women like us will have to think outside the box and stop letting the good girl image/ I am too good image let us lose opportunities to not be alone. Most of all, we need to step outside the box to not just have fun but find long lasting love too. Who the hell cares what your mama says, your friends and anyone else, we have to find our own happiness.......As Rhianna looks back in her 40's she will probably think she kept it moving, we can't let our lives slip people either being broken hearted or only looking for love in the wrong places.....find the right places and let's GO!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

2010 we win!

If 2009 wasn't a good year for you, and it seems like for alot of people the entire year seemed like a biblical test, then keep your head up. I believe this year will be a year of reaping what we sowed, moving on to bigger and better things, and reflection. 2010, the start of a new decade, should be a chance for you to start with a semi clean slate. Keep your eyes on the prize and work towards your goals. If you havent set out your goals clearly on a piece of paper or a journal, or on your bathroom mirror, then do it! If you see your goal you're likely to work towards it more. Keep faith in your heart, balance in your life, and peace in your home.

Have hope for the new year ladies and keep it pushin!

1) Make your goals visual, start a goal journal, or write them on your bathroom mirror so you see them every day. Seeing your goals will remind you of why you do what you do.

2) Make a resolution and keep it. It's possible to keep a resolution, it's up to you to follow through with what you promised to yourself. Remember our biggest roadblock in life is the phrase "I can't"

3) Take time for you. Work, men, kids... where is the "Me?" time. We give so much of ourselves to others, it's okay to take time for ourselves. Give yourself a spa day, or a nice relaxing bath with candles, or even an hour to read a chapter in a book can make all the difference.

Black Men and Black Women

This guy is pretty interesting. He touches on alot of issues black women try to express when talking about interracial dating.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Do we define "Black Love" as just love between two black people?

Do we think this months Essence went to far with placing Reggie Bush on a cover " Black Love" apparently Essence is getting some bad comments with this one...what do you think? are we reading to much into this situation ? or should a magazine directed at black women be more sensitive ? Also, is black love more than just love with another black person?

Check out the link below.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Let the little stuff slide off....

I was listening to the radio and heard a powerful statement. A man said " African Americans need to watch our idle time, and we need to be more productive". He further stated that " We need to make sure our conversations relevant and useful". I think of a saying my mother always tells me " Do not waste time". Now obviously we need to relax in life and we must find ways to renergize. However, it is time in 2010 for all of us to dream big! Aa women of color we are more than just job lablels, mothers, and wives.....we have souls too. We are placed on this planet to be true to our souls and to create....the question I ask myself is " what am I creating" and " how can I express my soul in a productive way". In American society, it is very easy to become a label in this huge rat race. Yet, whether we are wives, successful buisness women or great mothers we also need to make sure we are truly focused on expanding our creative space within and outside these relationships. I can only imagine the reason why many financial successful people are unhappy is because they have lost this creative space. I know many friends who are blessed in the entertainment and fine art field who use these gifts everyday. Regular folks like you and me also need to challenge ourselves to make our lives richer.......we can get all we want but we must also add the flavor to it as well...and in order to add this flavor to our lives we have to let the little stuff slide. Let go of the day to day bullshit . Let go of the day to day limiting experiences in life and with other people. In the words of Lauryn Hill get out the boxes. The people who use their lives completely never allowed themselves to be in a box. Life is not a popularity contest on who likes us or loves us. How dare we spend any second or any of our breath on what does not matter. How dare we fill our thoughts on anything that is not our food for the soul.Life is about how much we love life and the people around us... It is also about us finding a space with our creator, our God and challenging God to open up new directions and paths for us...we want to grow as much as possible. The small distractions of worrying about the little things, little ideas and other people's limitations can truly stop our quality of life. We can all live to be one hundred but the quality of life is what counts, at the end of the day we are given so much, the question for 2010 is how much will we focus and let our lives grow beyond our own expectations.... This is what I ask myself at this point in my life...Like a pot, we have to give our dreams, sun, soil and water, we also cannot let anyone pluck these dreams away from us.... hold on, and I am expecting great things for myself and all of us this year :-)...and may we share these new beginnings with our loved ones in our lives...

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Miseducation sucks

"Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths." - Lois Wyse

Monday, January 4, 2010

Are African Americans getting any real benefits of the civil rights movement?

As a California native, I have noticed something scary. My parents were immigrants and they had to work hard to get citizenship in America. However, I wonder that since they were African descent immigrants did they not get any additional help and opportunities in comparison to other immigrants. My main point is that the civil rights movement was about social equality for all people. Yet, the African Americans that were the main fighters for this social equality to me are not benfiting as much from these social, economic and political gains? Individuals that immigrant from countries of African Descent do not get the same assistance.At the end of the day, we are all people of the human race, I am not being divisive about the general struggle for freedom and human rights, however, I do think that many social programs and opporunities are spefically geared towards immigrants of non african descent and other U.S. minorities. I do not have a problems with offering the same programs to all people in order to be fair and just, but I do not like that after 400 hundred years, people of African descent still get the short hand of the stick when it comes to recruitment and obtaining resources for advancements on all levels of society. This is why I am a strong believer in still supporting black networks, we still need each other's support. The influx of latinos had added wonderful diversity, I love the diverse cultures, however, we must also still stay critical in this new "non race" that those of African descent do not become silently left behind. Many will want us to believe that structural racism is not here anymore, this is a very dangferous belief. For example, schools systems cater to non english speakers, however, you can speak english and still be functionally not literate ......we need to make sure African American children are not left behind as well. This is just one example how minorities can be selected from a group of other minorities to have more " directed" benefits than others. I hope in a couple decades, the gap between blacks and Latinos will not be similar to those than whites. I can also use the University of California schools as another example where other minorities dominate and blacks are left our the picture, these other minorities are indeed benefiting from the civil rights movement, policies and opportunities but we must make sure that all blacks have the same opporunities when it comes to obtaining the same helpful resources...keep our eyes open. Most of all, I am no writing this blog as a way to say blacks need a handout and we are waiting to get things without working for it. I just see that we must stay vigilant about making sure that we are also eating the fruits that African Americans died for years ago as well....As black history month approaches, it becomes vital that whites and non black minorities truly respect the sacrifices that many African Americans have made for civil rights, human rights and social progress.....Black History month in America should really be called American Civil Rights month and African Americans played a huge role in that fight in which many others are benefiting from today in America...