Thursday, January 14, 2010

Don't get me wrong...

This is dedicated to the interracial couples that think my every waking moment is spent sabotaging their relationship with my eyes. I am a bright professional woman that has had both street and traditional education. I know why most of our men do what they do. I know why most of our women do what they do. I've studied human nature (yes it is possible to understand other people, and there are scientist who dedicate their whole lives to studying human behavior) I've studied the effects of events in this country, and I've lived it. There are thousands of youtube videos and websites, mostly by black men, who are willing to bash black women because THEY themselves are in interracial relationships. So this post is dedicated to you, and you're lovely lady.

Date... whomever you want. Love whomever you want, but please please please don't forget where you come from, or hide why you're doing it. I've rarely met a black man in an interracial relationship that says he simply "fell in love, skin didn't matter" His dating outside his race is usually a conscious decision, and deals with dislikes towards black women. Be real, if you don't like "a black woman's attitude, how black women expect too much out of a man, or how black women gold dig" then when asked why you date outside your race, be real about it. Say it. To us, to others, to the cameras. Don't worry about hurting our feelings, because we already know why. Be real. And ladies, when you're man is alone with us, he will say how he truly feels, although he might tell you race doesn't matter, he just saw you and was smitten, theres usually something deeper behind it. I've never heard a black man says he prefers white women because he feels it in his heart. Thats simply not realistic first of all, all people have a certain type of person they are attracted to, and that's fine. Rather its the white guy that prefers Asian women, or the black woman that prefers Indian men. You are attracted to who you are attracted to. Yet when a black male is asked about his preference, he usually has something negative or hurtful to say about the women of his own race or other races. I was watching a video by a black man where he described white women as superior because of their manageable hair.... wow you get an A+ guy, I feel sorry for what ever blond sister gets stuck with you!

I'm not looking at you... for some reason whenever I'm out and about, maybe at a club, or restaurant, I'll suddenly feel eyes on the back of my head. I'll look over and see a brother, or his date staring at me. And I wonder "why?" It seems to me interracial couples WANT the evil stares. First, I don't have time to think about you, second if you're staring at me, then I'm going to look back and wonder why, which seems to be a trap. "Whenever we go out as a couple we get stares from black women." Who? really who is sitting staring at you as a couple? If you follow these people with a camera I'd bet you wouldn't see one black woman turn her head, we've seen it already. We're over it.

Don't bash us for dating outside our race... It seems black men are getting waaaay too angry at black women who date and marry white or latino men. Within a group just hanging out I've heard it enough times to see its an issue with them. They don't want us to date outside our race! The solution to that is put a ring on it and be a supportive, patient man who is willing to fight for his relationship, and work (in life and with understanding a woman)

Don't stereotype me to justify you're dating choices... I get the worst generalizations from black men. Perhaps I'm at a bar, and I'm being approached, unbeknownst to the gentleman approaching I didn't pay attention to him approach, or perhaps I'm waiting for my boyfriend and don't want to be asked for my number even though I tell you I'm in a committed relationship, or showed a penis via cell phone. (all of this has happened, no lie)Perhaps I'm not interested in you, which is fine, every woman isn't going to want you. But please don't chop it up to me being a black woman. I've actually had a man say this to my face, here's the situation. I'm at a club, this time waiting for my girls. I just ordered a drink and I'm waiting. Not doing anything, simply waiting. I'm approached by an older gentleman who kindly says "Smile, why do black women always look so mean." Excuse me? What does that even mean? Are black women that watched to where I can't even simply sit and wait, not smiling, not grimacing, not killing anyone with my eyes, simply sitting, and that has to do with my race? Or I'll turn down an advance, and I'm overly nice about it, I've actually been followed out to my car because I'm too nice, which is dangerous, and when I say no, I don't want to date you or give you my number, it will be chopped up to me being black. Sorry, I don't flip over every crotch that comes my way, and that's okay, maybe you're not my type, maybe I'm already dating, maybe I'm married. Show respect and don't insult my race because I don't want to date you.

To the ladies of other races... talk to us, most of us don't bite. We aren't irrational animals that pounce on you because you "steal our men" We know what you're more than likely going through, and we don't pity you. No matter what race of men you're dating, relationships have their problems. We know it's not all roses because you have your Nubian prince, or maybe it is and that's fine too. All we want to do is be recognized as the intelligent beautiful women that we are, and you're hating on us by thinking we think you "stole our men" really divides us as a gender. From the senator who gets his mistress pregnant, to the jailbird in the ghetto, men and women have their issues. I have my own life, my own issues, my own problems and solutions, I truly don't care who you date. More often than not, you start the conversation, asking me a silly question like "do you hate it when black men date white women?" this was an actual question from a total stranger. I'm going to give you my accurate opinion, and the history behind it, if you ask, you'll get an answer. And it will never be "I prefer black men date white women! I hook up all my black guy friends with white girls! Yayyyyyy!" Theres a reason behind why I feel the way I feel, and theres a reason behind the stigma of interracial dating, listen to it and empathize instead of saying "that's all in the past" because we all know the past shapes the future. Women need to have the girl power of the Rosie the Riveter days, this race thing is simply a distraction.

I went to see the Body Exhibit, and if you haven't seen it I recommend it. It taught me a valuable lesson seeing the different bodies, how they move, how the muscles and bones look and work together. And I realized... we all really do look the same on the inside. The emphasise on race was created in this country by the slave masters and the killers and murderers... so why are you still falling into their ignorant trap? I don't care who you date, get over it, and stop dating and marrying women out of racial spite! Don't get me wrong, you don't know how I feel about anything until you ask me.