Sunday, May 3, 2009

Dessert or No Dessert?

It seemed as though my search for a new partner was coming to an end. I took it slow and only had the feeling of wanting to get to know this guy better. I will call him Jeff.
I met Jeff while I was having a picnic alone at a park. I know having a picnic alone sounds weird but sometimes I feel the urge to have good food and wine outdoors and if you don't have someone to do it with why should that stop you. As I was cutting my cheese for my crackers I look up to see Jeff. He began a short conversation about the wine he saw in my basket and said I could get fined for having such a great bottle. I smiled and said he wasn't suppose to see that. He was a bit older than me but not too much older. I would say in his late forties. We continued to chat and I asked if he would like to sit down. He sat down and opened my bottle of wine and quickly poured it as to not be seen by park rangers. He took one sip and said, "Wow. You really know your wine to be so young." I found it to be a wonderful compliment and I love to get my ego stroked on occasions. At the end of our conversation he asked if he could ask me over to his place some time for dinner since I was so gracious to share my wine and lunch. I smiled and graciously took his offer. We'd planned for our dinner in three weeks time as I had a tight schedule. During those three weeks we chatted at least once a day and emailed about funny thoughts we would have about our days. He was rather entertaining. With our communication so easy and me feeling really comfy, I felt good to go to his house for dinner.
That night he had to lead me into the hills as I have zero sense of direction. As I pulled up to his home it seemed really familiar. I walked in and as soon as I walked in the door his dog immediately went straight for my crotch. How awkward that was..hmmmmm
His home was fabulous. It was like a flash back to the 50's. His kitchen was like a 50's diner and his furniture looked like something out of the show Happy Days. He had authentic Andy Warhol pictures of Mic Jagger hanging on the walls and some unknowns. But his choice of paintings were amazing.
He cooked a great dinner and showed me his wonderful wine cellar. He had wines from all around the world. He said every year he takes a trip to Paris, to my region of Burgundy to taste the finest wines. I was extremely impressed. He let me choose the wine for dinner and when I chose he was impressed.
After dinner he continued to pour the wine. He kept asking how I felt and I told him I was fine. After the second bottle came the third. After the third came the fourth. He kept asking, "Are you ok?" I said, "Yes I'm fine." He then asked if I was ready for dessert. He said he prepared a special dessert to go with the port wine he picked out. I was really excited because I saw his collections of ports. He walked to the kitchen and I sat on the couch making sure to keep the dog away. As I pushed the dog away for the tenth time I looked up and there was Jeff standing there naked holding a bottle of port wine. At that moment everything became clear. All the wine he was pumping me up with was good to me but was being given for Jeff's bad intentions. But what Jeff didn't know is that I come from a long line of alcoholics and it takes more then 4 bottles of wine to even dent or make me buzzed. My limit is usually around 6 with me questioning if I'm ok to drive. This is why I only drink wine and not hard liquor.
If it were anyone else but myself and I were to hear this story I would say, "Wow, no way." But its me and I was more upset with myself because I didn't see it. But when it happened I was not surprised. If I didn't have such weird things happen to me I would have reacted in a more fearful and negative way. But all I said was, "Hmmm, I think I'm rather full and will have to pass." I grabbed my purse and walked out the front door, leaving Jeff standing with his port in his hands.

"I will not give up, I will not give up, I will not give up."
My "There is somebody for everybody" is out there somewhere....