Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Ticking Clock

My b-day is coming up soon, and Im not turning a magical age, 21 was grand, 18 was so fun, 25 was sobering.

I sat back these last few weeks and thought about where I thought I'd be by now. A 26 year old professional. Check. A wife... hmmm... a mother...._______

In grade school I thought I'd go to college, work for a while, marry my college or high school lover and have my 3.5 children by 30. But alas, life happens, and here I am with a clock ticking louder than the one in the crocs belly in Peter Pan.

So heres the position, my relationship I'm in has more weight than any other I've ever had, he doesnt know it, but my whole future I've wanted from a little girl is in his hands, and it scares me. Seeing the dating pool, how shallow it is, is for certain somewhere I dont want to be, so now I play the waiting game. I'm enjoying my relationship, loving every minute, trying not to listen to that clock, tick tock ever so louder and louder as I see the cute baby in line at the store (they seem to get more adorable every day, engaging me by playing peek a boo with me behind their parent's back, as if to say 'you want one just like me!'), or drive past the beautiful summer wedding on my way to the bank. I wait... how long?