Friday, July 3, 2009

Summer love

Summer is the best time of the year (in my opinion) and theres no better time for dating, the weather's perfect, the days are bright and spirits are lifted.

If you're single, I recommend going out as much as possible. And if you go out an you can't understand why you cant get a date here are a few tips.

Be open!
Summer is a time for new beginnings. Relaxation and vacations, so anyone who's uptight should simply let themselves go. Do something you wouldn't normally do, buy a man a drink, flirt your ass off! Go for it, it's time for summer love. No uptight sistas here.

Take advantage of "Me Me Me"
Great weather is a perfect excuse for self improvement. Grab the girls and powerwalk through the park, if you live in a beach city, find a yoga group and watch the sunrise on the beach while getting in touch with your inner self. If you've been making excuses about getting in shape during the winter, there aren't any more in the summer! When we take care of ourselves and feel good about our selves, other people can feel it. You stand up straighter, you're skin is brighter, your smile is more radiant, and nobody notices it more then men.

Move it!
If your out and about, with your best 'get em' outfit on, make sure to let the inner flirt loose. Dance freely, even if it's someone you arent making eyes at. Afterall it's just dancing, and if that guy you thought you saw eying you across the room sees you with someone he feels he's better than, he'll feel more confident when approaching you that he won't get shut down. Noone wants to dance with the prune in the corner with her harms folded, shake a tail feather!

Initiate, initiate, initiate.
I can't stress enough the importance of having a little too much confidence. African American woman can be a pretty tough shell to crack (I'll admit sometimes when I'm out I really don't want to be bothered and I'll gladly show it) But knowing we are tough to approach, we have a good advantage. A woman making moves can be extremely sexy to a man. I've always said if you want something you can have it, and if you really want to date you can... initiate, be open, flirt, smile, start the conversation and make him beg for it to never end.

Be unconventional, it's a numbers game.
If you only date rappers, date a factory worker, if you only date doctors, give that UPS man a chance, if he's not 6'2" so what! Sometimes we can limit our chances for love by limiting the men we look at. On average if you're dating and hoping to find that special someone you should be going out atleast once a week, but I know some women who date once every six months and wonder why they're alone. Men view dating as a numbers game, so should we. Go out every chance you get, play the field, and take every date as a step towards finding the man of your dreams.

Oh those blue eyes!
I know I know, you only date brotha's, but hey if you open your world to other races, your summer might be full of alot more love. Take a leap and say yes to that blue eyed brother that thinks you look like an exotic queen. Have fun and you'll never know where you'll find yourself in the winter months!

Go where the men are!
I've noticed something when I go out, theres alot of damn estrogen! It used to make me sick to get all dolled up and stand in line with a bunch of women to get into a club with a bunch of women on the dance floor. Change your going out routine, go to afterwork happy hours, frequent a sports bar. Make a point to have friends with friends, house parties and gatherings are a better way to meet men than a bar.

If you havent started online dating, I highly encourage it. Statistically when a woman marries it's to someone she knew in highschool or college. If you're beyond that and noone from the past is knocking at your door, than it's time to take new approaches. Online dating has been a godsend for the professional woman. Filtering and research is done for you. Its a convenient way to get past the cattle call. Other events to look out for, singles gatherings and speed dating. If you haven't tried any of these things, honey you don't really want a man.

Have fun.
This is your world and anyman is trying to get a ticket in. Remember you are a prize, a beautiful reward for a man being a man. Dating is all about having fun, even if it doesn't work out with you and a guy, no worries you have another date next week!

If you're in a relationship or have one thats fairly new, take the time to rekindle some feelings. Do something new, surprise him. I'll randomly tell my BF I want to walk on the beach at night. Find a festival to suggest to him, make a picnic lunch and hike with him, take a trip 2 hours away from your home and stay in a hotel, Anything to get out of the house and out of a potential rut!