"That is all we is"

*sigh.......I wonder what Dr. King would think of the statements made by Cornel West , Tavis Smiley and Micheal Dyson.....we can agree that we need effective policies and we as citizens have the right/freedom to advocate for them but to insult a leader for not being black seems like crabs in a barrel syndrome..... with many young black boys in tough communities seeing crime as the only way out, should top " African American Leaders/Scholars be petty and knock the President for not being black instead of having engaging discussions about solutions for everyday Americans? We have to be critical of all leaders, this is a democracy but I am surprised by the words of such a top historian him of all people should know the position of the President. We can change race relations and gender inequality by making these issues important to those who intentionally or unintentionally support the beliefs and actions of inequality. But at the end of the day I guess we all have to be that " ol' colored girl and ol' colored boy " to the few and those with are same color, "that is all we is....."

On another note, are some black male leaders having a little Penis Envy? As women of color we have also been shut out of many discussions regarding our communities....many of us have been victims of our own black men, so when will one of these top African American leaders address these issues instead of going in on the President not being black enough. All things aside, we should always question leaders....but are some people using the black community for their own personal gain?

http://newsone.com/nation/michael-dyson-says-obama-runs-from-race-like-a-black-man-runs-from-a-cop/

Are Black Women not suppose to date?

I am always curious about the black images of women. I sometimes see open racism and sexism geared towards many black media figures whether it is Michelle Obama or Rhianna. I noticed on other blog sites the comments that Rhianna is a whore or slut. Now, we are the public we never know what is happening behind closed doors. However, unlike other celebs that never truly date or go out with handsome men, I think Rhianna is getting a slap in the face for being a black woman taking control of her dating life. I had a conversation with a good friend who suggested I do the same thing. We talked about expanding our horizons as black women when it comes to interracial dating and online dating. So as I read some of these mainstream gossip blogs and other sites, I realized how black women are slapped for getting outside the box of being alone and helpless. I have seen many beautiful and talented white female stars have a fine ass boyfriend and switch him when needed. As women are we sluts for playing the field. Now of course there is a limit to what I mean by playing the field. But it is a sad situation to just wait for prince charming. We are just being picked rather than becoming active agents who will FIND what is TRULY good for them overall. Think about it, a man looks at you and says I like her, she fits my standards. We then say awwww I love him because he loves me. Well, what about going after what we want too. We do want a man that will chase us as well, but we also want to be active participators . Anyhow, after rethinking the Rhianna and Chris Brown incident, there is nothing she could have said that warranted getting your face mashed up! I am glad she moved on and found a fine man, hopefully they enjoy each other. As for us, I think we need to always remember that some bad social norms are perpetuating us to be alone, to be passive and to be retainers of bullshit. Black women like us will have to think outside the box and stop letting the good girl image/ I am too good image let us lose opportunities to not be alone. Most of all, we need to step outside the box to not just have fun but find long lasting love too. Who the hell cares what your mama says, your friends and anyone else, we have to find our own happiness.......As Rhianna looks back in her 40's she will probably think she kept it moving, we can't let our lives slip people either being broken hearted or only looking for love in the wrong places.....find the right places and let's GO!

2010 we win!

If 2009 wasn't a good year for you, and it seems like for alot of people the entire year seemed like a biblical test, then keep your head up. I believe this year will be a year of reaping what we sowed, moving on to bigger and better things, and reflection. 2010, the start of a new decade, should be a chance for you to start with a semi clean slate. Keep your eyes on the prize and work towards your goals. If you havent set out your goals clearly on a piece of paper or a journal, or on your bathroom mirror, then do it! If you see your goal you're likely to work towards it more. Keep faith in your heart, balance in your life, and peace in your home.

Have hope for the new year ladies and keep it pushin!

1) Make your goals visual, start a goal journal, or write them on your bathroom mirror so you see them every day. Seeing your goals will remind you of why you do what you do.

2) Make a resolution and keep it. It's possible to keep a resolution, it's up to you to follow through with what you promised to yourself. Remember our biggest roadblock in life is the phrase "I can't"

3) Take time for you. Work, men, kids... where is the "Me?" time. We give so much of ourselves to others, it's okay to take time for ourselves. Give yourself a spa day, or a nice relaxing bath with candles, or even an hour to read a chapter in a book can make all the difference.

Black Men and Black Women

This guy is pretty interesting. He touches on alot of issues black women try to express when talking about interracial dating.

Do we define "Black Love" as just love between two black people?

Do we think this months Essence went to far with placing Reggie Bush on a cover " Black Love"....now apparently Essence is getting some bad comments with this one...what do you think? are we reading to much into this situation ? or should a magazine directed at black women be more sensitive ? Also, is black love more than just love with another black person?

Check out the link below.

http://ow.ly/16iPft

Let the little stuff slide off....

I was listening to the radio and heard a powerful statement. A man said " African Americans need to watch our idle time, and we need to be more productive". He further stated that " We need to make sure our conversations relevant and useful". I think of a saying my mother always tells me " Do not waste time". Now obviously we need to relax in life and we must find ways to renergize. However, it is time in 2010 for all of us to dream big! Aa women of color we are more than just job lablels, mothers, and wives.....we have souls too. We are placed on this planet to be true to our souls and to create....the question I ask myself is " what am I creating" and " how can I express my soul in a productive way". In American society, it is very easy to become a label in this huge rat race. Yet, whether we are wives, successful buisness women or great mothers we also need to make sure we are truly focused on expanding our creative space within and outside these relationships. I can only imagine the reason why many financial successful people are unhappy is because they have lost this creative space. I know many friends who are blessed in the entertainment and fine art field who use these gifts everyday. Regular folks like you and me also need to challenge ourselves to make our lives richer.......we can get all we want but we must also add the flavor to it as well...and in order to add this flavor to our lives we have to let the little stuff slide. Let go of the day to day bullshit . Let go of the day to day limiting experiences in life and with other people. In the words of Lauryn Hill get out the boxes. The people who use their lives completely never allowed themselves to be in a box. Life is not a popularity contest on who likes us or loves us. How dare we spend any second or any of our breath on what does not matter. How dare we fill our thoughts on anything that is not our food for the soul.Life is about how much we love life and the people around us... It is also about us finding a space with our creator, our God and challenging God to open up new directions and paths for us...we want to grow as much as possible. The small distractions of worrying about the little things, little ideas and other people's limitations can truly stop our quality of life. We can all live to be one hundred but the quality of life is what counts, at the end of the day we are given so much, the question for 2010 is how much will we focus and let our lives grow beyond our own expectations.... This is what I ask myself at this point in my life...Like a pot, we have to give our dreams, sun, soil and water, we also cannot let anyone pluck these dreams away from us.... hold on, and I am expecting great things for myself and all of us this year :-)...and may we share these new beginnings with our loved ones in our lives...

Miseducation sucks

"Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths." - Lois Wyse

From Don Imus to Michelle Obama, the 2000s Will Go Down as a Decade to Remember for Black Women

From Don Imus to Michelle Obama, the 2000s Will Go Down as a Decade to Remember for Black Women

Are African Americans getting any real benefits of the civil rights movement?

As a California native, I have noticed something scary. My parents were immigrants and they had to work hard to get citizenship in America. However, I wonder that since they were African descent immigrants did they not get any additional help and opportunities in comparison to other immigrants. My main point is that the civil rights movement was about social equality for all people. Yet, the African Americans that were the main fighters for this social equality to me are not benfiting as much from these social, economic and political gains? Individuals that immigrant from countries of African Descent do not get the same assistance.At the end of the day, we are all people of the human race, I am not being divisive about the general struggle for freedom and human rights, however, I do think that many social programs and opporunities are spefically geared towards immigrants of non african descent and other U.S. minorities. I do not have a problems with offering the same programs to all people in order to be fair and just, but I do not like that after 400 hundred years, people of African descent still get the short hand of the stick when it comes to recruitment and obtaining resources for advancements on all levels of society. This is why I am a strong believer in still supporting black networks, we still need each other's support. The influx of latinos had added wonderful diversity, I love the diverse cultures, however, we must also still stay critical in this new "non race" society.so that those of African descent do not become silently left behind. Many will want us to believe that structural racism is not here anymore, this is a very dangferous belief. For example, schools systems cater to non english speakers, however, you can speak english and still be functionally not literate ......we need to make sure African American children are not left behind as well. This is just one example how minorities can be selected from a group of other minorities to have more " directed" benefits than others. I hope in a couple decades, the gap between blacks and Latinos will not be similar to those than whites. I can also use the University of California schools as another example where other minorities dominate and blacks are left our the picture, these other minorities are indeed benefiting from the civil rights movement, policies and opportunities but we must make sure that all blacks have the same opporunities when it comes to obtaining the same helpful resources...keep our eyes open. Most of all, I am no writing this blog as a way to say blacks need a handout and we are waiting to get things without working for it. I just see that we must stay vigilant about making sure that we are also eating the fruits that African Americans died for years ago as well....As black history month approaches, it becomes vital that whites and non black minorities truly respect the sacrifices that many African Americans have made for civil rights, human rights and social progress.....Black History month in America should really be called American Civil Rights month and African Americans played a huge role in that fight in which many others are benefiting from today in America...

Sometimes its not all black n white Lou Jing

This beautiful half Chinese half Black sister is being hated, hackled, and harassed by her Chinese people. If she was half white she could blend in and all would be well. I'm happy my skin is dark, I'm happy I stick out, because I shift through the real people, and the people with half brains that descriminate because of skin color. Its kind of a forced "be real" situation. If you're racist, you'll show it and I'd rather know who is and who isn't.
I just wish her father was there to support her emotionally.

When will we point of the self hate in black men?

I remember speaking to one of my coworkers at a past Job. It was such a true and funny. conversation. She was in her late 50's a cultural aware woman who happened to also be Jewish. She described to me how in the past black women were not " having all that" ...in other words, we showed our disdain for any educated black man that wanted to marry outside of his race for status and self hate instead of love....? Deep down are many of our black man still wanting to move in to the masta's house and with his woman instead of using new freedoms to build a new house? Seriously, at times I wonder if many black men are still looking to white America as their fathers rather than truly defining their own lives for themselves? IN the pursuit of money, we need to all become owners.In the case of Tiger Woods, why can't we have more black men and women being the people who cut checks for million dollar athletes, and once again we should have more people than just Tyler Perry and Oprah able to make hollywood decisions.....yet, no matter how we dress it up, many of our men and even some of our women are still " shucklin and jiving"......but our men is where we lose the much needed leadership for our communities, we as black women have been doing this strong black woman thing for too long, it is time for us to hold black men accountable and stop blaming it all on us.....if you date outside of your race for love, that is okay, but to date outside of your race because you hate how your mother looks is disgusting, it should be the exceptions but not the rule to date everyone that does not look like you! ,how can you hate yourself?

So what do we do ladies?