When will we point of the self hate in black men?

I remember speaking to one of my coworkers at a past Job. It was such a true and funny. conversation. She was in her late 50's a cultural aware woman who happened to also be Jewish. She described to me how in the past black women were not " having all that" ...in other words, we showed our disdain for any educated black man that wanted to marry outside of his race for status and self hate instead of love....? Deep down are many of our black man still wanting to move in to the masta's house and with his woman instead of using new freedoms to build a new house? Seriously, at times I wonder if many black men are still looking to white America as their fathers rather than truly defining their own lives for themselves? IN the pursuit of money, we need to all become owners.In the case of Tiger Woods, why can't we have more black men and women being the people who cut checks for million dollar athletes, and once again we should have more people than just Tyler Perry and Oprah able to make hollywood decisions.....yet, no matter how we dress it up, many of our men and even some of our women are still " shucklin and jiving"......but our men is where we lose the much needed leadership for our communities, we as black women have been doing this strong black woman thing for too long, it is time for us to hold black men accountable and stop blaming it all on us.....if you date outside of your race for love, that is okay, but to date outside of your race because you hate how your mother looks is disgusting, it should be the exceptions but not the rule to date everyone that does not look like you! ,how can you hate yourself?